Get Unstuck!
13 Steps to Become the Ultimate Goal Achiever
The new year is coming up and many of us are going to set New Year’s resolutions.
Whether you are much of a resolutions-person or not, the new year can be a good time to evaluate where you are currently at and can be a surge for a fresh and strong start. So why not use the momentum and get real with your goals?
But the thing with resolutions and goals is that most people, even high-achievers or people that have high standards for themselves often lose sight of them and sometimes really don’t even know what they want…
So, if you are someone who wants to make the most out of your life, who wants to continue growing in every area of life then this blog is perfect for you as I am going to give you the exact steps to get really clear on your goals and your WHY and how to actually achieve them! If you find the following steps helpful you'll also love my 'Get Unstuck!' freebie.
1. Discover your WHY
In order to do so, you need to take time to create a personal vision and mission statement. Don’t skip this step! This is the groundwork for everything that follows. You might think that vision and mission statements are only for businesses but writing down what YOUR personal purpose is here on this earth is so effective. In fact, writing things down – whether it’s your goals or your normal journaling – makes it TWICE as effective as just thinking or talking about it!!
Let’s say you realize that your mission is to show your daughters what it means to live a healthy, happy, and fulfilled life so they can pass it on to their children. Or you might find out that your mission is to have a fulfilled career that allows you to enjoy an abundant life without having to worry about finances, because you know what it felt like not to have much…
All these realizations will help guide use when it comes to setting priorities, decision making and locking in your goals!
2. Optimize your schedule
Look at your current schedule. If we want to make room for more activities that help you grow as a person, we need to get rid of the things that are hindering us from them. What are some of your main distractions? Your time wasters? Things you do that really don’t need to be done at all? Or maybe even things that make you take steps backwards?
Maybe you have friends that always encourage binge drinking on the weekend? Or you commute to a gym that is way too far away to actually stay consistent with it? Maybe you keep your phone in the bedroom and you look at it first thing in the morning instead of reading like you were going to?
3. Identify your actual NEEDS
We all have needs, many of them are very clear to us, like the need to have food, go to the bathroom, have shelter etc. Others we can identify as “luxury needs” like wanting to look good (clothes, physical appearance), sex, going on holiday… But then there is a whole new category – the subconscious needs that we are ignoring, trying to numb, and still filling in ways that we are not aware of. For example, if we have a longing for connection and love and end up sitting on the couch eating a pint of ice cream on our own…Or when we are just so bored of our day-to-day routine and end up binging on the weekends. These signs for underlying needs that we SHOULD be filling in other (non-food- or substance-related) ways that often hinder us from achieving our goals. As always, awareness is the first step. So let’s get clear on your top needs!
4. Write down your annual, 90-Day & 30-Day goals
Now that we know your mission, your vision, your current schedule and how we can optimize it, your subconscious needs (that have likely been sabotaging you all along), we can finally find clarity on our goals.
The important part is to set goals for all areas of life, but only 1-2 big audacious goals, so that we are not feeling overwhelmed.
Set goals for your Body (aesthetics, health), your Being (spiritual – this can be morning routine related, how much you want to read and mediate, how much time you will use for introspection/stillness…), Balance (this is all your relationships, including the one you have with yourself) and Business (financial, career, education). Start with the annual goal and then break it down to where you need to be in three months and 30 days in order to achieve that. Set SMARTER goals, so specific, measurable, action-oriented, realistic, timed, but also evaluated and rewarding. While we do want to dream and aim big, it’s better to try to get 1% closer to that goal every day (for example by taking a few extra steps or eating a little bit better) than going hard-out and then “falling off the wagon” in a week’s time…
5. Identify your Limiting Beliefs and start shifting your identity!
Our limiting beliefs usually go far back to the way we were brought up, what society we were brought up in, and a few defining experiences or comments that have stuck with us since. If we never take the time to unravel them, we have to live with them and the fact that they hold us back for the rest of our life. Limiting beliefs could be “if I want to be skinny, I can only eat healthy and eating healthy doesn’t taste good, my mom only fed me healthy things when I was going up and it was gross” or “I cannot put on any weight! When I was in high school a boyfriend made a comment about my love handles and ditched me shortly after. Clearly that means I am only love-worthy if I am skinny and weigh 120lbs.”. It’s not just in relation to physical appearance though, we all hold limiting beliefs regarding finances, relationships, exercise and so on.
6. Learn to see setbacks as something positive!
It’s only natural to want to give up when we feel we are “failing” at something or when we feel we are taking two steps forward and one step back… But one of the important ingredients to success and achievement is persistence and grit! The thing is too though, that setbacks are actually HELPFUL!!
They help us see how far we have come, what we are already doing well and what is starting to become our new normal!
Setbacks are periods of retraction when our old self is coming back to test us when we keep pushing outside of our comfort zone! But don’t despair, these periods of retraction will become less and less and eventually what we are working on has become our new identity!
Also, don’t forget that there is some positive learning experience in ANY setback. For example, you broke your leg. Great, now what? Can’t train, it’s hindering your weight loss journey and affecting your mood. But how is this something positive? It allows you to spend more time with the kids, to read more, to have more appreciation for your body, to focus even more on food… All a matter of perspective!
7. Perform a SWOT analysis!
A SWOT analysis is when you are identifying your STRENGTHS, WEAKNESSES, OPPORTUNITIES and TREATS. This is really important because we don’t just want to find out what you are not good at yet and what we should be working on, it also means using your strengths to our advantage when it comes to working towards your goals. Equally, only once we are aware of your weaknesses, opportunities, and threats, can we start approaching your goals from the right and easiest angle. For example, you might have the opportunity to join a training group that could help with consistency, or you might identify the upcoming holidays or your vacation as a “threat”. Simply that awareness can help us make the right decision towards what strategies work best and how to prepare.
8. Take ownership of where you are now!
Your current situation is what it is. You may not like it. You may not feel like you deserve it. But a victim-mindset or fixed-mindset never helped anyone improve things. Realize that you and only you have the power to change what it is you are not enjoying. Maybe things seem like you are too deep into your marriage, like you need the security of your full-time job, like you have just gained too much weight and it’s too long of a journey… Not doing anything won’t make it better and if you are not acting on it, no one will. Obviously, you are interested in improving things because you have read thus far. But even sometimes when we have started working on something we give up because we feel like external circumstances are “sabotaging us” or it’s “just not the right time”. The time will never be right. Don’t let perfectionism hold you back or prevent you from taking or continuing with action. You do not need to be perfect; you just need to start and keep going. That’s it. It will pay off.
9. Don’t let negative language sabotage you!
The way we talk to ourselves has IMMENSE power. The main reason for this is because most of our thoughts are subconscious and then then manifest as beliefs and beliefs have the power to manipulate our action. I know that changing the subconscious thoughts is incredibly hard, but once again, becoming aware of your thinking patterns is step one. Usually, they also show up in conscious beliefs and the way we talk to others. For example “I am going to TRY to stay consistent over the weekend, but historically when I eat at that Pizza place I can’t control myself…” or “I ALWAYS gain weight over the holidays, I’ll see that I do better this year, but it’s a challenging time” … This might not sound like a big deal, but these are pretty much self-fulfilling prophecies in the sense that this person’s belief that they will fail is so deep, because they have proven to themselves over and over that that’s just what happens, that it is very likely to manifest that way.
How to change that? Positive self-talk, even if it seems unauthentic initially, is super effective. This is how we, slowly but steadily and over time, change our limiting belief (of course in addition to better planning and preparation in most cases).
10. Show up authentically!
Have you every chased a goal, just because you thought that this is what you “should do” or what “everyone does”? Maybe you started a college degree that you actually had no interest in or you thought you needed to set a dieting goal when you’re really pretty happy with your body and you would have liked to focus on health instead? Nobody can have LASTING, CONSISTENT success if it’s not really aligned with who they truly are. This also goes for being real with your results and the effort you are putting in. You might think “why am I not progressing faster” when you’re actually only hitting your targets 4 out of 7 days. Or you might say to yourself “oh that little bit extra won’t matter”. But the truth is that EVERYTHING counts and even if nobody might see it, it still adds. Have integrity and be real and raw with yourself!
11. Identify your main triggers and stressors!
We all have them. Our breaking points, the things that make us “derail” the most… Maybe, it’s when you have had a long week and on a Friday you sit down for a glass of wine with the hubby, which turns into a whole bottle and chips. Or maybe it’s whenever your boss yells at you and you find yourself going to the breakroom eating the donuts or maybe you just can’t keep from snoozing, because you end up going to bed later than intended, binge watching your favorite Netflix show… Being aware of your triggers, the people and situations that trigger you the most, the things that make your perceived stress levels increase more than anything is so helpful! This can help you avoid these situations, change your response to the situation, change how you view the situation and decide how you will navigate the trigger by fulfilling the need in different ways in the future!
12. Work with your Love Language!
You might wonder how this fits in with the rest of the points.
It’s simple. If you know what fills your bucket the most, what makes you happiest, you will also know how to ask for it. And overall happiness/ fulfillment isn’t that what we’re trying to achieve with all of this? It will also allow you to identify what love language the people around you (your family, your friends or even your clients and co-workers) speak and how you can understand and serve them better.
What do you value the most -
Quality time?
Gifts?
Acts of Service?
Physical Touch?
Words of Affirmation?
You can see that simply by identifying that someone really values words of affirmation you can easily give them more of what they thrive on and you can give them specific instructions on “Hey honey, I would really appreciate it if you could do the vacuuming by the time I come home, then I’d love to spend some quality time with you like you suggested. Would you like to go out for dinner and the movies? Does that sound good?”
13. Create a vision behind your vision!
Lastly, even if we do manage to achieve our goals, it’s common to “fall into a whole” afterwards. Why? Because we don’t know what’s next? This is a common phenomenon among Olympic athletes, but also applies to weight loss, entrepreneurship and so on. How to prevent that? Have an exit strategy and a goal beyond the goal! Perhaps that means creating a business vision for the next 5-10 years, or it means coming up with a plan for how to reverse diet and set up for maintenance once you have achieved your goal weight.
Remember that self-development is just that – a development and never actually something we tangible HAVE. Goals and milestones are there to help is move in the direction of the person we want to become, but they are not destinations or finish lines.
If you found this helpful, check out my ‘Get Unstuck!’ freebie and stay tuned for my upcoming 8-week course where I take you through these exact steps, help with accountability, check-in with your homework and progress and much more! Can’t wait to share more details with you!
